Hasn’t that always been the question when something went unfulfilled?
What if I married that first love…what if I finished school…what if I didn’t have children…what if I became rich…what if I was a rock star…what if I’d known hundreds of women or men…what if I was a teacher…what if I found the spiritual path…what if I remembered my past lives…what if I was mentally ill…what if I invented something…what if I traveled to all those exotic places…ad infinitum……
What if in some small way I was able to make a mark, a simple dot on the existence of mankind? What if we all DO make that mark, what if we realize how important we are in the nexus of interdependence? What if all this didn’t really matter in the scheme of things of the universe?
For me, I chose some paths that enabled me to fulfill a lot of these ‘what ifs.’ I wasn’t setting out to do that consciously per se, but rather I just set out and wound up doing so many things because I needed to, because I was moved to, because I chose to and because I could. As years encroached and responsibilities weighed me down; things and doings, adventures and boldness slowed down but still I kept moving forward…changing careers, starting businesses, teaching myself trades and always doing some design, painting, jewelry, photography, poetry and writings of one sort or another. Sometimes months even years would go by without any creativity being displayed until it built up and built up and like a volcano it would spew and I’d do 22 paintings in a month or enough jewelry to enter into fairs and shows.
The spiritual path has been the thread of my life upon which the various sizes, shapes and colors of pearls have been strung. And now as this life is moving toward a close…I’m looking forward to fulfilling the other half of ‘what ifs’ that I didn’t get to earlier. The bottom line, to use the vernacular, is that we don’t know when this life may be over, whether that moment occurs via old age, an accident, bad karma, ill health, self-induction, violently or suddenly. Because our demise will be, more than likely, a crap shoot…that is the reason we want to live our lives to the fullest, most genuine way with all the authentic presence we can display in all our waking moments; engaging with others’ basic goodness as we hold ourselves accountable in all that we do.
Hopefully this can be an encouragement to do it! To simply move forward realizing there are no mistakes, no wrong paths no regrets as we evolve and enrich ourselves, our surroundings and our circle of influences. This entire life is the most amazing classroom as we matriculate from pre-school to grad school to going from decade to decade learning and traversing our path that is the feast offering of our lives.
1/ Reflections: Filmed in gorgeous Spanish locations this is a good ‘serial killer thriller’ with a twin and DNA as interesting twists. Stars Timothy Hutton as Europol agent Tom Brindle who is called to Barcelona, Spain to track down a serial killer known as Pygmalion. (4 stars)
2/ Bending the Rules: A rather delightful comedic adventure ensues when a district attorney’s father’s vintage Studebaker is stolen and tries to get it back by turning to a corrupt cop that he wasn’t able to convict. The unlikely duo set out to find the car never suspecting it’s part of a bigger conspiracy. Stars, Jamie Kennedy, Adam Copeland, Jennifer Esposito and others. Entertaining…3-4 stars.
3/ Dead Presidents: A highly recommended action film, filled with coarse language and some gory footage from the Vietnam war, but displays the issues of ‘Black Americans’ involvement in the Vietnam War and their subsequent disillusionment with the status quo of social issues and civil rights coming back home in the 1960s. The movies involves the heist of old bills retired from circulation and readied to be burned. Stars, Larenz Tate, Keith David, Chris Tucker and others. (4 stars)
4/ A Dangerous Method: A great biopic film from David Cronenberg. Sabina Spielrein is hospitalized, as they then called ‘hysteria’ under the care of Dr. Carl Jung, who has begun utilizing Dr. Sigmund Freud’s talking cure with some of his patirents. Spielrein is highly intelligent and eventually becomes a psychiatrist in her own right, one of the first females to enter that field. The married Jung and Spielrein become lovers eventually, while Jung and Freud develop their relationship. A deep rift develops between them as Jund diverges from some of Freud’s theory. Stars, Keira Knightley, Viggo Mortensen, Michael Fassbender et al. (5 stars)
5/ Jesse Stone: Night Passage: Jesse Stone, a hard-drinking man moves to idyllic Paradise, Mass as chief of police. But it isn’t long before he is involved in one mystery after another. Stars, Tom Selleck and others. (3 stars)
…there is a surge, resurgence, emergence, co-emrgence going on and about us, on exchanges, in daily life, on politics, in artistic endeavors, on romantic chances, in self-deception, on social media, in common bullshit…
“everybody’s looking for something,” even when they don’t know it / the levels and depths of unconsciousness among us is rated as ‘scary,’ how does the world function I sometimes wonder, what props up the utter deception, masks, fears, that leadmankind into such a painful existence?
we are on the brink, the rim, the edge, the razor’s edge of change, it is palpable, in the air, vibrating in cellular dimensions, auric vicissitudes changing rainbow colors all while decadence and death abound in this fecund foxhole of humanity / word bombs have their shrapnel and fallout and collateral damage isn’t even blinked at
ay, but there is good too, much to look forward to while letting go of the old BS that is necessary to move forward…
see you on the uptake…
HIGH STRUNG: film recommended to me by Wert and Laurie...Contains a somewhat familiar storyline but is developed nicely. Classical dancer in a competitive school meets subway playing minstrel, who is really well versed in classical violin. Downstairs neighbors are hip hop dancers and an upbeat story filled with romance and a down to earth gypsy quality that puts the snobbishness of some of the school's best performers to shame for their arrogance! Streamable on Netflix (4 stars)
A WOMAN, A YOUNG LADY, SARCASM AND OMG, PATIENCE…
A simple trip to Taos, NM with my lady and her daughter turned into a joy, a fiasco, fun and Help Me…
We are laughing in between moods of anger, annoyance, being shot down, utter silliness, and “Yuge” touristy shopping sprees. I would have to say that overall these will be happy memories with some key funny remarks, statements of the obvious and moments of brilliance, sanity and neuroses / in other words a normal day in any given relationship.
In my experience sarcasm is usually an aspect of intelligence and this young lady is quite bright along with her mom…we have the dynamic duo! I, on the other hand felt left in the dust as their humor escalated and crescendoed rather quickly while I often was feebly without words to counter (somewhat unusual for me). In any case, it was all in a fun modality without any real, ‘OH SNAP’ to it, well perhaps some (he said smiling).
One Sleepless in Taos night and some grumpies in the morning, just another story and mini hurdle to get over. Would I do it again, you betcha!
©stephen.futral / 16.august.2016
THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY
MOVIE RECOMMENDATIONS SEPTEMBER 2016
1/ Hotel: A collage of various odd characters converging at a grand hotel in Venice. There is a documentary film crew, who are following another crew filming a period tragedy. The producer and director engage in a battle of wills while the staff is conspiring against them all. Lots of symbolism and a sense of surreal acting. Stars: Salma Hayek, Lucy Liu, Burt Reynolds, David Schwimmer and others. (3 stars)
2/ What a Man: Alex a typical male ‘nice guy’ goes out of his way to accommodate his petulant and demanding girlfriend…so there is a complete surprise for Alex when he finds out she’s cheated on him and thinks little of their relationship and ends it. It is a film that tackles the ‘gender issue’ very well and sends Alex through various situations as he tries to ‘find himself.’ (3 stars)
3/ The History of Future Folk: Two aliens from the planet Hondo come to take over our planet but when they hear our human invention…Music, they abandon their mission and head to a tiny Brooklyn bar where they play as a Hondonian bluegrass duo. The movie has some delightful twists and worth the watch. (3 stars)
4/ The English Teacher: Linda Sinclair (Julianne Moore) is a 40 year old HS teacher in a small town in Pennsylvania. Her life is, in a way lifeless as she devours the thrill and drama of the books she reads. Her life becomes delightfully involved when a former star pupil Jason Sherwood (Michael Angarano) returns to his small town after trying to make it as a playwright in New York. He’s on the verge of giving up as he’s pressured by his father, Dr. Tom Sherwood (Greg Kinnear) to go to law school. Linda feels he shouldn’t give up and decides to produce the play for the school, with the flamboyant Nathan Lane as the drama teacher. Fun and well done movie. (4 stars)
5/ The Emperor’s Club: A sobering film about a principled but flawed prep school teacher played by Kevin Kline and a rebellious student (Emile Hirsch) whose father is a senator. The film spans a 25 year period where his students grow into situations that perhaps the teacher influenced. Well acted and deeply human. (4 stars)
I’m sitting in the Crestone Artisans Gallery, doing my ‘co-op’ shift, there are several new people visiting town and I make them feel comfortable , and welcome.
There’s a cool breeze here, wafting into the house…so inviting after the oppressive heat, snowing cottonwood fuzz, yellow green pollen from the all the budding pinon trees covering everything inside and out and the voracious swarming mosquitoes.
Some older, white haired gentleman walks in and it’s just the two of us in the store while he’s perusing all the artwork, scrutinizing it actually. I ask him if he’s an artist and he tells me he’s thinking of moving here and would like to get into the gallery. He said he’s partially indigenous and that Hannae Strong told him he should move here, to come up from Taos where he resides now. I ask him if he’s familiar with Encaustics, I explain it and he looks at my works and says, ‘Futral’ ‘Futral’ that sounds awfully familiar, ‘Stephen Futral.’ I tell him my friends call me Ish, short for Ishwara. He immediately says, ‘did you know Swami Satchidananda?’ and there we went running off with one intertwined story after another, our paths never met but ran parallel. Friends with Peter Max, taking acid with Timothy Leary, student of Ram Das and taught Krishna Das the Bhakti Yoga chanting that he is known for now. Our paths even crossed with the Enlightenment Intensives taken place in the desert in California.
It wasn’t so much a reminiscing as it was a new discovering, a friendship of knowing of each other. His name was Surya Das, one I’d heard for many years back in the 60s and 70s.
The likeliness of me being on shift at the gallery just as he walks in is part of that ‘auspicious coincidence’ that seems to run rampart here. We connected on FB…
© stephen.futral / 25.june.2016