Hasn’t that always been the question when something went unfulfilled?
What if I married that first love…what if I finished school…what if I didn’t have children…what if I became rich…what if I was a rock star…what if I’d known hundreds of women or men…what if I was a teacher…what if I found the spiritual path…what if I remembered my past lives…what if I was mentally ill…what if I invented something…what if I traveled to all those exotic places…ad infinitum……
What if in some small way I was able to make a mark, a simple dot on the existence of mankind? What if we all DO make that mark, what if we realize how important we are in the nexus of interdependence? What if all this didn’t really matter in the scheme of things of the universe?
For me, I chose some paths that enabled me to fulfill a lot of these ‘what ifs.’ I wasn’t setting out to do that consciously per se, but rather I just set out and wound up doing so many things because I needed to, because I was moved to, because I chose to and because I could. As years encroached and responsibilities weighed me down; things and doings, adventures and boldness slowed down but still I kept moving forward…changing careers, starting businesses, teaching myself trades and always doing some design, painting, jewelry, photography, poetry and writings of one sort or another. Sometimes months even years would go by without any creativity being displayed until it built up and built up and like a volcano it would spew and I’d do 22 paintings in a month or enough jewelry to enter into fairs and shows.
The spiritual path has been the thread of my life upon which the various sizes, shapes and colors of pearls have been strung. And now as this life is moving toward a close…I’m looking forward to fulfilling the other half of ‘what ifs’ that I didn’t get to earlier. The bottom line, to use the vernacular, is that we don’t know when this life may be over, whether that moment occurs via old age, an accident, bad karma, ill health, self-induction, violently or suddenly. Because our demise will be, more than likely, a crap shoot…that is the reason we want to live our lives to the fullest, most genuine way with all the authentic presence we can display in all our waking moments; engaging with others’ basic goodness as we hold ourselves accountable in all that we do.
Hopefully this can be an encouragement to do it! To simply move forward realizing there are no mistakes, no wrong paths no regrets as we evolve and enrich ourselves, our surroundings and our circle of influences. This entire life is the most amazing classroom as we matriculate from pre-school to grad school to going from decade to decade learning and traversing our path that is the feast offering of our lives.