CONFORMITY
 
…and since when do we conform to any supposed to bees?
sure an edge is necessary if for no other reason than to define what we have to go beyond, where to reach for, what to jump over, how to step out of…
goals are necessary as a measurement of achievement or for some to define a sense of self-worth but I say self-worth is much beyond the achievement of goals…that is a business mentality, filled with aggression…there is an alternative that contains gentleness and a deeper sense of making friends with ourselves, appreciating the neurotic heap of self as our starting point…so we don’t have to achieve this or that to recognize our self-worth but rather begin right where we are at with the smelly juicy stuff of our rutted cocoon we’ve been in / knowing that we will at some point,  have to muster that state of fearlessness in order to step beyond our cozy sheltered egos…here we become ruthless in our awareness and bullshit detectors are set on high as self-deception is very slippery, oily in fact and easy to see in others but harder to see in ourselves…
 
©stephen.futral / 21.august.2013

MANKIND STILL HAS POSSIBILITIES
It was several years ago, perhaps five. I’m scrolling through my emails when I see one asking if a painting I called ‘Macbeth’s Soliloquy’ is still available and how much would it be?
I am wondering how this person even knew about it and upon a few communications I find out the basis to this inquiry. A month or two previous this young woman had seen that painting along with others at a coffee shop where it had hung for a month. She didn’thave my card or email but had remembered my name or asked at the café and found me online, persevered and found my email. This alone struck me as someone that knew how to get things done, how to accomplish and manifest in this world. Yet this young person is telling me she would like to see it. At first I thought,  yes, with such perseverance she’ll probably want to buy it. She also mentioned it would be a gift to herself for her 21st birthday. Now this captured my intelligence and delight that a modern 21 year old was interested in a painting as a birthday present for herself. Not a car, not clothes, not a summer in Europe but a painting, no less of Macbeth’s Soliloquy.
We commenced to make arrangements and I realized I better explain that my studio was in my apartment, and I figured she was perhaps an art student that wanted to know how this was painted as it was rather involved and I enjoy sharing things I do and discover. I also had to explain that she had to phone me when she’s in the lobby as I was living in an apartment building that housed mostly students and the doors to the apartments and elevators were via locked doors. I would have to come down to let her in and when I did she was there with a friend and her mother. (Delightfully, I thought, well maybe she will buy this with her mother here, hmmm).
So we commenced up the elevator to room 360 in Spanish Towers, I always liked the number as it implied a full turn around. I had arranged the painting so they could sit or stand comfortably while I explained how it was done and answered any questions they had. When I was finished they asked the price again and I told them I would do it for the same price it was in the Trident Bookstore and Café, and I threw in no tax. She told me she had saved money while in college in California by DJing hip hop music and she only had x amount. In consideration for her perseverance and desire to have this painting I negotiated my price and with a little bit of mom’s help we concluded the transaction. 
Once that was done they  asked if they could have the hand written soliloquy that I wrote for the opaque projector, I told them surely and turned it over and wrote a little note to them on the back and signed it. The entire experience was such a delight for all of us and her mom told me as I was helping them carry the painting to the car, “I told her in the lobby, ‘I don’t care how much you like it, we’re not buying it if he’s not a nice guy.’” 
To top this entire experience and the proverbial icing was the fact the she is actress/model gorgeous and yet so down to earth and it totally rekindled my faith in today’s youth.
©stephen.futral .26.november.2014

Here are some photos of stages of the painting and the delightful buyer.

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